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Record Mirror Feature - 27.05.87
TOP BOYS
The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu - "All You Need is Love" (KLF Communications)
Graham: Best record of the year so far, and they didn't use an instrument on it apparently - they just ripped everything off. Excellent!
Clint: You can make some great theorising comments about this and sound really po-faced, but the basic point is that it's a good record.
Richard: It's one of the few records I've heard today that makes me want to put it on again as soon as it's finished playing. And what greater accolade can you give a record?
G: The main tune could have been done in a completely crappy way, but this is psychotic. It makes you want to scream your head off, and it gives you goose pimples.
R: A dancefloor record with a message - a nightmare AIDS terror warning.
HEAD HONCHO
Roy Orbison "In Dreams" (Virgin)
R: Absolutely brilliant - a top record.
G: If you went into a pub and this was one of the records on the jukkie, you wouldn't hesitate to put it on. It's got character, it has.
C: It sounds like he hasn't progressed one bit, which when you're Roy Orbison is a good thing. There's no point trying to be Nick Kamen when you've got something that works.
R: If you want to do a sentimental, slow ballad you need the Spanish soft shoe shuffle and the big wowing strings. And no-one else has the guts to do it but good old Roy!
BIG CHEESE
The Beastie Boys "No Sleep `Til Brooklyn" (Def Jam)
R: More like it, that is.
C: How do people buy records by people like the Ward Brothers and Breathe when they can listen to this and throw beer around their bedrooms?
R: It's the only record we've heard today with a loud electric guitar in it. What is the world coming to?
G: They're the only loud, outrageous and rocking band in the world today. There's not a duff second on the album.
C: After "Girls" this is probably the most commercial track. But I'd have gone for "Girls" myself.
STEADY BOYS
Age of Chance "Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Noise!" (Virgin)
C: Gary Glitter for the Nineties.
G: Well smart.
R: I like it. I like the way they nick the lyrics from AC/DC's "Let There Be Rock". They could have done with a photo of the drummer in a provocative pose on the cover, though.
C: Definitely a teenybop record. Good though.
G: And if they're looking for someone to jump around on stage with them...
LL Cool J "I'm Bad" (Def Jam)
C: That was good that was.
G: I liked the American cop theme bit, it's like the music from "Shaft".
R: Shaft's a good word, I reckon.
G: Some of the lyrics are like the Beastie Boys' "New Style". And that bit about "my phone is tapped"...
C: How far can these records go? All the way, I think.
G: Top boy!
Yeah God "Better Ways To Waste My Time" (Drunken Choirboy)
C: Husker Du meets the Buzzard and eats plutonium death. Catch this man before he licks yo' ass!
R: Top hole this one, I'd buy it if I were you or else the Buzzard will be after you with his purple people eater. I've seen it and it's BAAAD!
THE REST
Boy George "Keep Me In Mind" (Virgin)
C: I'm gonna say nothing but good about Boy George because he was pictured in another magazine wearing a Poppies badge. But why does everyone these days sound like they wished they were American? It's an AOR record - let's stick the Beasties back on again.
G: He can't write anything now, can he? He can't get it together.
C: Some people can draw inspiration from having had a knife-edge existence, like Lou Reed, but it's done nothing for Boy George.
R: It's just a predictable Boy George record.
Heartbeat UK "Jump To It" (Virgin)
C: Mel and Kim without tits! Is this Jon Moss' new band?
G: It's got a sense of fun to it, so it isn't as bad as all that.
R: A pretty good pop record, but the name of the band sounds like that Psychedelic Furs song. People will probably buy it thinking it's the Psychedelic Furs.
C: It was awful!
Alison Moyet "Ordinary Girl" (CBS)
C: I like that I do. It's probably no better than some of the other stuff, but it's not ponced up to be "the new thing". It's sort of honest.
R: I'll give it eight out of ten.
G: Decent tune. You couldn't get excited about it but then I don't suppose you're meant to really. Laid back type of thing.
Dwight Yoakam "Little Sister" (Reprise)
C: This is all right, this. Elvis probably did it better, though.
R: I like it, I do.
G: It's better than the others because it's half-hearted rock and roll, and that's better than no rock and roll. But it's still dull.
C: It deserves a special mention for the B-side being called "This Drinkin' Will Kill Me". Definitely a good title.
Jack and Chill "The House That Jack Built" (10 Records)
R: That sounds like some guy's got a shit load of electrical equipment, and he's just having a laugh in his bedroom. It's as adventurous as Sherper Tensing going down to his local pub.
G: It's a show-off record - all the latest wizardry.
C: Just pointless. Having said that, if I'd had a skinful, like, and there was some big booby girl dancing to it, I'd be up there with her!
G: You'd dance to that if you were pissed out of your face.
Cock Robin "Just Around The Corner" (CBS)
C: He'll be lucky to cock anything after that.
G: That's shite.
R: Even my mum wouldn't like that.
G: Pertaining to sophistication and all that crap.
C: What a wonderful line.
